MCKEAG AND ME #3 SHARKS, BLOODY RAIN, FIBERGLASS, GAS CHAMBER, WHAT'S NEXT? HOLY MACKEREL, THAT'S WHAT. Now this not a blasphemy, Mackerel, Spanish, Spotted, Broad barred / Narrow barred. Take a breath; SCOMBEROMORUS COMMESON is a fish, a really solid fighting fish, a pelagic, and a surface traveler. Reasonable eating washed down by a crispy dry white wine. Curried, grilled, baked, fried, raw, (that's right) raw. But you will have to wait before you get the recipe from me. A TYPICAL DAY, AH LA, FARLEY AND MCKEAG. You beauty, "sanitary man's head gear", like flat man. We are out there and fishin', Mackerel is the go. And we "come up trumps", almost 70 kilograms of Mackerel and back to shore, clean up, ice down and send off to the Sydney Markets for a good pay-check. WHAT A BLOODY ENIGMATIC START TO PROCEEDINGS.  I think I understand why the modern young people can't follow my chronology; my stories happened in "my real time", it will not happen to them, and that's sad. The people who have followed my ordinary life will have "a hang". OBSCURE AND RELATED FACTS. Here is how to catch a Mackerel, the FARLEY AND McKeag method; Be in 13 fathoms, (the NEW BRIGHTON REEF). Be anchored in 13 fathoms, JIMMY BROWNING showed me this. Take your time, set up your gear; be patient, JIMMY has lived here for 30.000 years. Like my Mum he has the patience of a rock. His Daughter is "Black Betty"; she is a mate of mine. "Black Betty is cute". 3 gang hooks, a full ‘pillie', some secret "Burley", and mate your there. No more secrets. OH a little piece of "koolite"? BUT THIS IS FARLEY AND McKEAG'S STORY. The 70 kilograms of Spanish Mackerel were our little "kickback", like a fringe benefit. The bloody markets were down, we wanted a premium price. Our local butcher, one ROY GARRARD, SUGGESTS; Take the catch to the "TWEED HEADS BOWLS CLUB, I WILL GIVE YOU AN INTRO". This will commence and epic journey, a journey fraught with trepidation and much under hand transaction, and a little bit of a tipple. It could have been the end of my Fishing Licence. CONVERSATION; $1:50 A KILOGRAM, PISS OFF. (Co-Op manager). We stacked our catch in the back of my old (FC) Holden Station Wagon; we set of north to Tweed Heads. We had been in contact with the Catering Manager and directions on how to find the Chef and the kitchen were followed. The Chef he is a French Man, "OH LA LA, we have the Mackerel Steaks, we take the lot". NOT THE CIGUATERA. Just like all plans, some one comes along to stuff them up. The Catering bloke enters the scene and declares that Mackerel can be a "NO NO". "It may have the exotic disease known as ‘Ciguatera'. It is true that travelling fish from the tropical zones will have this problem. The food chain that ends up in some of the Pelagic fishes guts will have this peculiarity, although it is recognized that the toxins will have been expelled by the time of reaching our area, "but not always". I guess he did have justifiable reason for concern, but McKeag and me explained that our fish were clean, "I will take 30 kilos @ $2:50 a KG, that leaves us with 40 kilos to take back to the Co-Op. So the deal is done, but were not done. We discuss doing a Club and Pub crawl back home to Brunswick Heads, "there's the South Tweed Bowls Club, the Condong Bowls Club, the Billinudgel Pub before we get home", the plan is hatched. To cut a long story short, we rock up to the S. Tweed Bowls, enter the foyer and declare we have some fish for sale. People come out of the kitchen and the Club to make a purchase, a set of kitchen scales is produced AND NEWSPAPER, WE SELL ABOUT 15 or 20 kilos in a matter of moments. All this time us thinking about my licence, not quite Kosher this. Well, actually we could sell our produce external of the C0-OP, the proviso was that we paid a ‘handling fee' of 5 / 10 cents a kilo, BUT WRAPPED IN THE NEWS PAPER? ONWARDS AND UPWARDS. The Condong Bowlo, the Billinudgel Pub, several drinks of the ‘amber fluid' and we arrive home with "some money" and 10 kilos of still freshly iced Mackerel, we sold 60 kilos @ $2:50, we placed the remainder in the hands of the C0-Op. WE received a cheque in due course for $45:00 less expenses, that's right $4:50 a kilo, BUGGER. But gees we had a good time. SOME SHORT STORIES. You will notice that dates and times have been excluded, WHY? Largely forgot, silly old bugger, roughly; TERRY AND ME, IAN AND ME, RONNIE AND ME, McKEAG AND ME happened 1978 / 1993. HOWEVER IT HAPPENED. McKeag and me did some good stuff in the old "GOTCHA". Johnnie was a deft hand at lots of things, I am sure he's got webbed feet. He owned a HOOKAH, and no he was not a smoker, he was not a "LADY OF THE NIGHT", FISHERMAN yes. HOOKAH YOU BASTARD, ALSO KNOWN AS "GOTCHA". GOOGLE ‘HOOKAH', Wikipeadia will come up with the obvious answer, it's a bloody Asian Bong. OR in some references it is a device to supply air to marine divers. Sometimes a method to supply air to "SANDBLASTERS", Spray Painters. The most notable was in the "Pearl Diving" industry. McKeags HOOKAH had a mechanical compressor, the windlass, lots of air hose, and the water tight helmet and visor. I learnt to operate this apparatus; I was a ‘DIVE BUDDY' SEE THE FOLLOWING STORIES IN McKEAG #4

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